||_____`you know you are my once in a lifetime*||

take a bow

2007-12-12T20:43:00.000+08:00

this show is over.
but wait, another one has just began.

theabandonedhermitage
www.theabandonedhermitage.blogspot.com

my newfound jealousy

2007-12-11T16:37:00.000+08:00

Built by design and artifice, it fell apart in confusion and chaos.
-- John Gray

she gives you as many cookies as you ask for but once you lay your hands into the cookie jar, you wont get any. not even the next time.

conditioned love

2007-12-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

its like im in somebody else's dream.

felt so sick in the afternoon. i still have this feeling someone drugged the fisherman lozenges i ate. took the train up and down a couple of times today but it was fine. had a great company at chalet T10. the fire served better as a hand warmer than a bbq pit. sure hope things were better after we left =)
had barcadi. not breezers. and i think i need one fine day to find my alcoholic tolerance =/ something tells me i would be in danger if i dont. =/
oh shit, im underage.

cabbed back to gardens with ching to meet timomo for sushi tei x)
we ordered quite alot and the last dish was 19piece sushi specially for our ulric who came after the last order was over. but its okay! D:
the ebi and sashimi was good. not forgetting those beef and softshell crab. ate my fill but that was just midway. x)

ice cube next! i thought i was going to go for fruity fiesta but old habits die hard, i went for volcanic eruption with 2 huge scoops of rocky road and some really sweet chocolate ice cream. milo powder with chocolate chips.
just the right thing for the chocoholic me D:

mich fetched me home after that and tadah, here i am x)

ching brought to my attention of the phrase conditioned love.
had me thinking for a few moments to really picture it in reality. brought me to this thought that everything in this world is transactional. =/
well at least most are. its sometimes not in the form of $$ thats all.

and conditioned love,
spend a minute to think about it (=

maybe finding all the things it took to save us
i could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
look in your eyes to see something about me
im standing on the edge and i don’t know what else to give.

leopard and their spots

2007-12-09T20:40:00.000+08:00

i tired. im fucking tired.

you've got the triumph card in hand.
so have fun abusing it.

and there he goes, so perfectly,
the kind of flawless I wish I could be
she'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause...

twist and turns

2007-12-09T02:14:00.000+08:00

its way too shattered already so stop it.
tell me you had enough already, pls.

irritant

2007-12-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

my second chance of bronchitis is here! =/

alot like love

2007-12-08T21:45:00.000+08:00

its time to change the game plan.
whats your next move in this chess game? who are you willing to sacrifice?

checkmate in the next 3 steps.

shanghen

2007-12-08T16:11:00.001+08:00

it came a little too late and this december,
is nothing like november.

mixed feelings

2007-12-08T00:17:00.000+08:00

i dont know what to say about it.
i feel like a salad. its nicer than saying rojak i guess.

the little drummer boy has got to be my fav christmal carol (:

oh mr deejay

2007-12-07T22:55:00.001+08:00

my first mutton satay x)

had a blast with the great buddy at chompchomp and we filled ourselves with large soursop and longan drinks. not forgetting the sambal stingray in which bb ate all the bones =/ and also satays. never will feel awkward with this funny pal and with this ex-classmate and schoolmate to be, i can simply go crazy. i wont forget the not fat not thin and calvin lim's bullying joke x)

crunch ice cream was fine but i still dont like the milky parts =/ give me back a popsicle or something non creamy. the orange flavour ICE cream would be great :) but yea, we laughed like mad dogs at the smses xD even though we were just along the roard xD

met xk at the bus stop and he was with a friend i think. HI FRIEND! D:
and late i bumped into chuanyue. followed by yanling! chompchomp is just too nice a place x)

i had great fun. thanks! D: but im pretty sure i'll wake up with no voice at all. irritating throat is irksome.
just like you.

save the last dance for me.

greed.

2007-12-07T14:59:00.000+08:00

lost the voice to speak in this realm.

i guess its because you've been there once before so you dont settle for whats in front of you now. while for me, this is fine. at least for now, i tell myself it is. trust me, i've been through worst. so no complains.

my tea's gone cold, im wondering why
i got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
and i cant see at all

look at the signs

2007-12-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

isnt the greatest journey of all, love?

back. back from korea and hongkong. despite the 7 day being a few thousand miles away from home, my watch always told the time of s'pore. you know what it means to me dont you people? (:

me and mrs jones at 5.43am, the moment i turned on class95 in mom's car on the day of flight.
calling card KT
water pia with a sauna you have to go in naked TOTALLY.
internet cafe costing 7 per hr
snow skiing with a mild snowfall
ginseng chicken soup with tour guide earning commission behind the back.
lotte world with the best viking i ever set. D:
a plane ride back to hk.
cosmopolitan hotel room just next to a graveyard =/
shopping and MTR rides.
a very impt lesson time in the shopping mall with uncle arthur.
mcdonalds breakfast and more shopping.
secret hideaways along hallways of the 17th floor
csi miami on axn at 1am!
a plane ride that didnt crash along the way back to s'pore.
lavatory of the planes and bathtubs of the hotels.

im back home (:

-

i've been tracking.
and i pity. not myself.

what am i suppose to say
tell me what to do
show me the signs and lead the way

i know the road
i know the way
you just got to force me onto it.
dont leave it to me to handle.

-

got to say that uncle arthur really taught me alot in that half hour or so inside pacific plaza. i was so worried we would have problems walking the mall while aunty jasmine went to send the kids back to the hotel.
that has got to be a day i learnt alot of things. too much things? i dont know. life lessons i really appreciate and value.
and i admire him alot. alot. i could almost say he is the rare species you would find in men. i respect him and truly look up to him.
he really got me thinking. and i must say, thanks. (:
it was much needed, uncle arthur!

12am in the masquerade ball, we shed the masks.
can we talk?

second prize

2007-12-01T18:23:00.001+08:00

and i had to go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you.

korea sucks big time and i've never missed home so much.
but right now, it gives me a good reason to just disappear.
like i always needed to.

you know you've got to though you dont want.
its not like you have a choice. dont they always say its better when you leave yourself with no choice? makes you somewhat a better person?
a classic example on yourself now (:

its too late to apologize.

come clean

2007-11-29T21:06:00.000+08:00

the rojak friends? x) i love them all the same! <3!

presenting DM&BM of zwinds for 06/07. i miss the days lihua! x)

big nic.lihua and madelyn.
hahaha the mr nice guy!

thanks for the great time people and we need to organise more gatherings alright! (:

when you're dying to know, its close to what i always feel. but at least this outcome wont be a sad one, i hope.

its too late to apologize

2007-11-29T14:02:00.000+08:00

I want a little something more
Don't want the middle or the one before
I don't desire a complicated past
I want a love that will last

apologize

2007-11-29T00:16:00.001+08:00

live, laugh, love.
just be merry this christmas (=

away from the citylights

2007-11-28T20:56:00.000+08:00

i remember the rain on our skin and his kisses hotter than santa ana winds.

whispering our goodbyes
waiting for a train
i was dancing with my baby
in the summer rain.

i love the black pointy shoes and zara clothes. :D
and not forgetting, a new friend i met today. glutton is his middle name. x)

it was the last time i saw him in the summer rain.

like no other

2007-11-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

7days.

you won.
happy now?

had a great dinner with yiching and timomo. food was sinfully good at chompchomp and i felt like i was going to explode after leaving the place. warm chocolate cake at Friends was the ultimate indulgence. no wonder they say food gives a person the best contention and satisfaction. today was one of the classic example. well, company is important too i bet! lots of laughter and thanks for the great time :D

i felt so extremely reluctant packing for the trip and it got me so agitated. i just left everything in the room and came upstairs. annoying. i know im know reluctant to pack. im unwilling to go. i suppose i dont want to leave so many things behind. yes 7days. its not very long but still, its long enough. im starting to wonder why i agreed to go on this trip in the first place. ):

and last night, i thought i was going to die. the pain was unbearable but paracetamol saved me together with the company. i thought i wont make it through the night. thanks (=
3 panadols and great company. just what i needed to ease the pain. -hugs-

i wanted to say something but i forgot =/

do you know the prata house is a house with walls made of prata where you splash curry on it like you do it on houses with paint and you eat it just like that. its pretty interesting actually and quite a sight x)

and ha, now you lost.
im losing my interest to blog. :(

i know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
but I'm willing to give it a try
cause nothing compares to you

i'll be okay.

2007-11-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

我可以忍受眼神的空洞
我可以忍受你时间不够用
却不能忍受做了那么多
使她拥有我该得到的温柔
使她拥有我没看过的笑容

isnt he the one that made you cry

2007-11-26T20:02:00.000+08:00

your smile got me boasting
my pulse rollercoasting

chalet was sweetness and had a real good time with all the pals. but i still dont enjoy horror flics. i still dont want to scare myself ): till now a little bit of gag still keep coming back to me ):
sob. and my neck is hurting like a bitch. ugh. uncomfortable in any position. wonder how the people are doing over at downtown east still ):
love you people to bits! D:

and glenn frey's the one you love is making me even more in love with saxophone ):
boohoo.

im losing grip.

i can see that it gets into you.

costa sands D:

2007-11-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

feel you here every moment

nice to know that there is internet here for me to kill time besides the usual arcade bowling pool psp lan and food galore. was having a crazy time playing daytona, losing to small little kids. maddy feels so pathetic. xD initial D was total bullsh!t because i simply throwing my face flat on the floor.

time crisis 4 is love! though me and ck were constantly adding credits at intervals of 5 or 8, it was pretty awesome x)
at least it feels good just shooting the screen with all the bugs and ugly looking terriost.

thankfully the food was in the perfect amount. no more no less. thanks to the advice from the chef aka mr tan my brother :D if not i would be piled up with plenty of leftovers here and there. still feel stupid from scalding my hand. sickening.

feels like my copper brown is fading off somehow =/ doesnt feel that copper or reddish anymore! YICHING I WANT DESSERTS! WHAT TIME IS TIMOMO WORKING? ASK HIM TAKE HALF DAY LEAVE OR SOMETHING. I WANT OUR DESSERTS. i miss warm chocolate cake and all the great food (:

and hey, i miss you!

because i just cant have enough of it

shanghai tang

2007-11-24T22:15:00.000+08:00

someone's gonna thank the stars above.

I CANT WAIT FOR TOMORROW. its been so long since we all met and had a gathering but now, we're all gonna be under one roof. its going to be so fun and i cant wait D:
but the dreadful bus ride makes me feel so sick right now. ugh.

teriyaki chicken tasted pretty much the same today but saltier in my opinion x) cream of mushroom had a little too much pepper. as usual.

looking at ft's multiply really makes me think of how much happened this 4 years. its lucky to have him teaching me all this while. all the best to you too! i enjoyed your lessons and i'll bear that advice in mind! HAHA!

yiching's tempting me to head out for desserts now but i told her, bakerzin would serve pretty awesome warm chocolate cake too! D: cant wait for it bumble bee! XD wednesday aint too faraway! D: dont forget about macaroons and the loveliest mango moose cake i love! x)
timomo must go along too!

glenn frey's the one you love. finally found the title to the song. sweet. :D
there's not much to say tonight so perhaps i might just come back later.
ciao

there's no easy way to see this through
all the broken dreams, all the disappointment
oh girl, what you gonna do?
your heart keeps sayin' it's just not fair
but still you gotta make up your mind

face the music

2007-11-23T22:41:00.000+08:00

its never bad enough to just leave or give up but its never good enough to feel right.

Your life seems out of place. Extremely. I think you need to pick up the phone along the expressway. The phone that is housed in the orange shelter with the large alphabets 'S', 'O' and 'S'. You know it. The brakes in your car are malfunctioning. Carry on and Spiderman needs to appear in front of your car and webs will be spun onto buildings. But Spiderman doesn't seemed to really exist. I don't think so. Help yourself. I don't want to see a sick friend reporting to JC and trying her best to bring on the best in her in the Orientation Camp but that whole effort is useless. You should understand my point.
it was just a dream, she told herself.

ernie.
sometimes i think this brother of mine understands me better than i do myself =/
well i guess its not a bad thing to have one who helps to make things much easier to see and realise. you're the man ernie!

freaking bbqwhole sale got me running up and down like a crazy woman looking for a transaction receipt today and if i find out who is that lady that claimed that my money was not transfered over, i'll not let her off so easily. argh.
but its not her fault. maybe the money wasnt wired before i ring her. but whatever it is, at least i didnt lose 100bucks for nothing.

woke up from a pretty nasty dream after falling asleep at 8 in the morning. its the kind you wake up in cold sweat but knowing its just a dream. however, it feels so real that its going to happen in your reality soon. nasty. really nasty. i guess even if it happens in reality tomorrow, i wont feel that sad anymore. because i already know whats going to happen.

having difficult getting saxophone lessons have made me change my mind. i suppose flute isnt too bad also. but i must say that isnt one instrument to learn as well. think about it, im not exactly a woodwind person am i? there's a reason why i play french horn in zwinds. well, a suppose a trip down to yamaha wont harm (: and saxophone is deemed partially woodwind, partially brass. lets just see what this music school has to offer me (:

as usual,
im neither here nor there am i?

because what's not enough to kill you
will hurt you.

its wrong.

2007-11-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

眼泪流过
回忆是多余的

if you said those words to make me feel better, i rather you you dont. they hurt more than they should. so please dont bring me close and throw me away. i'll run and i'll hide. never should you seek. =/
randomness.

maddy's got an urge to just throw the freaking laptop down 3 floors and just tell dad she crashed it. its dying on me though both xk and bro did try to save it. its barely alive. like how a paralysed waist down human would be. oh well. scrap it.

and there's chalets coming up. i need to start packing for korea also. aunt says its minus 4 degrees in korea. about 10degrees or slightly warmer in hongkong. i dont seem to anticipate much for this trip, at all. there are things i dont want to put down but yet, no use holding it tight cause it wont be of any help. it might hurt at first but i guess i'll be okay after some time. wont i?

i dont know why what happened did happened and i never will know why what happen will happen eventually. i just dont know so stop asking me. like how ernie put it, im tired. actually it isnt as complicated as we all thought it is. its a string of simple matters messed up together. thats why it is deemed complicated. is it not? i know i'll look back and laugh at it in a matter of time wont i?

silly girl. it'll be fine. things will all fall into place eventually alright (: and you dont believe it till you see it for yourself. until you trust your own instinct. you'll grow to understand it girl. just give yourself time alright (: im here always and i'll sigh with you then :D
hang in there alright esther!

have you heard?
its by michael buble. i heard it again today. it made me sad. like it always do.

some screaming here and there followed by a slam on the door. i wonder what happened. i dont like it when people start pushing the work around. only waiting for things to happen and thats sickening. you guys dont seem so eager when it comes to sharing your joy. what happened? ugh.
i dont feel that fantastic right now. so go away.

and about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged.
i'm sorry honey, but im passing up, now look this way.

the evil twin 2

2007-11-21T23:45:00.000+08:00

The Journey
by Max Lucado

I drove the family to Grandma’s last night for Thanksgiving. Three hours into the six-hour trip, I realized that I was in a theology lab.

A day with a car full of kids will teach you a lot about God. Transporting a family from one city to another is closely akin to God transporting us from our home to his.

A journey is a journey, whether the destination be the Thanksgiving table or the heavenly one. Both demand patience, a good sense of direction, and a driver who knows that the feast at the end of the trip is worth the hassles in the midst of the trip.

For me, six hours on the road is a small price to pay for my mom’s strawberry cake. I don’t mind the drive because I know the reward. I have three decades of Thanksgivings under my belt, literally. As I drive, I can taste the turkey. Hear the dinner-table laughter. Smell the smoke from the fireplace.

I can endure the journey because I know the destiny.

For some of you, the journey has been long. Very long and stormy. In no way do I wish to minimize the difficulties that you have had to face along the way. Some of you have shouldered burdens that few of us could ever carry. You have bid farewell to life-long partners. You have been robbed of life-long dreams. You have been given bodies that can’t sustain your spirit. You have spouses who can’t tolerate your faith. You have bills that outnumber the paychecks and challenges that outweigh the strength.

And you are tired.

Let me encourage you with a parallel between your life’s journey and the one our family took last night.

It’s worth it.

As I write, the Thanksgiving meal is over. My legs are propped up on the hearth. My tablet is on my lap.

I have every intention of dozing off as soon as I finish this chapter.

The turkey has been attacked. The giblet gravy has been gobbled. The table is clear. The kids are napping. And the family is content.

As we sat around the table today, no one spoke of the long trip to get here. No one mentioned the requests I didn’t honor. No one grumbled about my foot being on the accelerator when their hearts were focused on the banana splits. No one complained about the late hour of arrival.

Yesterday’s challenges were lost in today’s joy.

God never said that the journey would be easy, but he did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.

Remember this: God may not do what you want, but he will do what is right … and best. He’s the Father of forward motion. Trust him. He will get you home. And the trials of the trip will be lost in the joys of the feast.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll close my eyes. I’m a bit tired from the journey, and it feels good to rest.

-
necessary evil

i think i've become very wildful. demanding in some ways also. asking for more, yearning for all. compared to where i started off, i've become very selfish. very very greedy also. i need to loosen the strings and unbuckle the lock. im afraid if this go on, i'll destroy whats left, with my own bare hands.

a very nasty day today and i think it started with a terrible night. part of it was because when i opened the apple to reply ernie's email, the internet crashed on me. hate it when such things happens but it left me clearing my junk inside the folder called Madelyn. a good thing i guess. clearing the heaps of trash, throwing away the forgotten.

you are evil arent you. look at your heart. its black. its dirty black. its filthy. eeww. you know it.

i think dad is right about me looking older with this drastic hair =/ its scary when i look into the mirror at times. i love guinevere's perm though. looks lovely on her.
great to see the operaghost once again and i enjoyed her company though it was really short. that office lady really didnt change much to me but if only she could catch the awesome chitty chitty bang bang with us. it sure is one musical that have you tapping your feet practically throughout the entire show. it was great.

makes one wonder about the work backstage for such a stunning musical. all the props and organisation. the time and the cost. i believe the size backstage is a few times the size of the stage itself. to present something so splendid, it must have took alot of effort. a pity the theatre wasnt full but at least our 3rd floor seats got upgraded to the first in the circle. D: or is it the stall. but still, it was worth the time and money i must say. (:

i thought alot last night. i thought i made up my mind and fell asleep then. but only to find myself waking up at 3am with a totally different mind. it happens every now and then in the morning. when its at night and when its in the day, its different. its as if waking up to a bright morning gives me a little hope. i suppose if one day morning seems like night would i really stick to my fickle mindedness.

truly scrumptious.
feet are aching from the walking today but its fine. i'll be okay. i will be. i hope.

there's no turning back and there's no road forward.
help.

its gonna be a long night
and im gonna lose this fight.

red hair demon

2007-11-20T20:58:00.000+08:00

when what you see doesnt tally with what you hear. time after time.

sitting at the salon for 4 hours really tested my patience. many things lately have been doing so. taking their time to show my limits. i suppose its putting me into the right mind when the eventual wait comes. perhaps these little tests would help make the upcoming major one easier to deal with. it shouldnt be long. many things for maddy to do during the waiting. as for now, she enjoys, savour and appreciate every moment she has for it.

red highlight and straight hair. i never expected this but at least i think it looks rather different. bold i would say. somehow i do get reminded a little of paramore's lead singer though it isnt that orange and that bold. someone once said bold is beautiful. im doubting it at times. times like now =/

wish i can keep it for the next year also but going into ajc with this hair colour would be a problem. thats where black hairspray comes into picture eh? haha we'll see about that one when the time comes.

chitty chitty bang bang with guin lisa and awsu tml.i really cant wait. so many good critics and reports about it. im sure we'll all 4 have a great time watching it. from the 3rd level though.

its pouring outside but it wasnt before. southwest monsoon eh. seems like bringing textbook to life isnt too hard for times like these. some love the rain while others simply cant wait for it to go away. it seems like we often meet with rainy days and seek for shelter. shelter from this world. shelter from the pelting rain. but i guess after the rain, we learn to appreciate mr sun a little more. (:

5 minutes in video ezy with 5 videos and contentment. the ladyrain cant ask for more. back to aeon flux and marie antoinette D:

mousey when are we going out again! D:

just in case you feel like coming round again.

tearless grief bleeds inwardly

2007-11-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing this, that the testing of your faith develops patience, and patience must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4

thanks leon. (: God bless!

baby i know

2007-11-19T21:48:00.001+08:00

can anyone guess the first song i heard on class 95 after not tuning in for so long?

i feel like the radio is out to mock me or something and after i continue to tune in, the songs get even more outrageous. lets just say it started off with the infamous me and mrs jones. then some simply red and some dido with her thank you. later, sheryl crow and her the first cut is the deepest.

damn you class 95!

and i seriously think its an insult to cyndi lauper when matchbox 20 actually when to make such a noisy version of time after time. whats the world coming to? trying to bring in the old and make it new when they have no creativity of their own?

Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

exchange and swap over

2007-11-19T20:36:00.000+08:00

my head's so heavy

hello you unknown readers of the world.
i thought it would be easier if it hurts a little more each time but seems like i keep getting sucked back into the whirlpool over and over again. shit you madelyn. you ended up this way and you blame only the ladyrain. looking at it, i can only call myself one thing. stupid. i already feel retarded reading what i write. -shakes head-
just saw sam tan's nick on msn and i feel like laughing just reading it. 'there are only 2 things in life that are infinite. the universe and human stupidity in love.'
HAHA. just feel so retarded reading it and i am certain it applies to everyone. dont try to deny it people. you know. nice one samuel! im speaking like 3 year old kid am i not?

i pretend nothing happen. i take it as if time just stole away. but i dont deny, that moment, it felt like deja vu. i think i've reached nirvana or something. like i can forsee whats happening or just know its going to happen. dont they mean the same thing? argh whatever man.

i had a penalty in the game. people are catching up real fast and i thought i was leading. too bad for me then. but you watch your step because the race has just began. watch your back. i'm real close behind if i am even anywhere further than your step.

i find myself getting stuck in my own little world each time and thats really foolish because i fail to see the big picture. keep having this thought that i am just having the whole world revolving around myself. feels terrible. feels like im losing my old self. i need to find it back. quick. before i lose it entirely. that would be bad bad bad bad BAD news.

really got to thank xk for sitting at kovan hub to fix my laptop though it isnt entirely fixed. though the freaking moron just seem to screw up on me each time i try. the freaking keypad just wont work. mentioning it now just gets me red with fury. argh. damn it. i should have just bought a mac book back then. at least i know i wont be facing shit crap like this now. but nonetheless, thanks xk for helping me get rid of the password that i stupidly forgot. that was the primary problem. now that freaking keyboard should just revive by itself somehow.

i still dont like it. dont like how you have the control of the entire situation. its so unfair. i shall go back to meditation and find my way out to this. im not going to lose. believe me, i'll be right next to you master.

and you, watch it too. (;

bye world.

for enquries and clarifications, please email madelyn.goh@gmail.com or call me at 99958578.

stripped

2007-11-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

the clock ticking
the world stops turning

'....makes me feel that all that you are going through isn't worth it. I am not sure, but I guess you know what you yourself want ultimately. Bystanders and outsiders can't say much.'

ernest. sometimes i feel really blessed to have this friend along side to guide me through it all. prevent me from falling, from failing in life. but i think i still did. he just prevent me from sinking deeper into the foolish-ish thing around.
i was feeling really happy for an hour or two but soon i felt the mood fading away. it always happen. its how i swing into the crazy moods and start ignoring everyone. so just get used to it.
had a very nasty hit on the cab just now because i was letting my mind drift. now i think its going to turn blue black very soon on my leg. argh. stupid me. as usual.

you wont find me here.

flow through my act

2007-11-18T17:43:00.000+08:00

maybe finding all the things it took to save us
i could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
look in your eyes to see something about me
i’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.

how can i love you

it awes me. sometimes i really wonder how the words just flow through you. how the right words and the right time. the precision. what kind of love potion do you let her drink? leaving her head over heels with you. im curious. you ought to teach me. come on. i want to learn.

supreme sunday

2007-11-18T14:25:00.001+08:00

csi supreme sunday is love. if only all crimes in this world can be solved this easily. if all complicated matters boiled down to evidence only which leads to the liberation of the innocent. but who exactly is innocent?

she keeps wondering. and she isnt happy. with who? with what? i cant find an answer.

let the world be my witness

pounding

2007-11-18T00:04:00.000+08:00

and she begins to wonder, where's a safe place to hide from this world.

mouse and maddy concluded bugis is just not the place for them and it would be quite some time before returning there again i suppose. love our matching tops and that mean lady actually sold mouse the belt with a hole. argh. i detest dishonest retailers like these. later we went all the way to kovan to see a donut. a pretty pink donut that reminds us of homer simpson! D:

sa open house was fun and thanks ernie for the company there. i think he fell in love with the school faster than he did with any other and it should be his next school. im sure he can make it and he will enjoy it there. its his haven. met so many people there and camy was there too! so close yet so far eh!
temptations. do not give in =/

white tangerine was the same but the difference this time was that we all had no books! it was all fries and banana sundae and drinks. felt so good returning to one of my favourite hunts always. just a pity we all missed the live band but still, a great time with the friends D:

dont try too hard.
dont.

i get down on my knees and pray.

回忆是多余的

2007-11-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

after today i think i really truly honestly understood what yiliang meant when he says '1's a little too little and 2's little too much.'

i suppose its needless to say whats 3 like then.

she said her goodbyes.

2007-11-16T20:02:00.000+08:00

and its not as if i mind your heart is not exactly breaking.

i think fresh flowers are the prettiest things on earth and the only reason why is because they're from mother nature. they're fresh. but sadly, their beauty is so shortlived. cant last more than a week without water or their roots firmly to the ground. but of course, you can always try to dry them but then, they wont be called fresh flowers anymore.

fireworks. you capture them on cameras and videos. you keep them for memories and use them in celebrations. but nothing is compared to the moment you watch them burst into vivid colours in the darkest skies. they too are short lived. just savour the moment and leave with no regrets.

i see my life about to change. about to take a turn to the other lane. maybe its not a bad thing. seems like no 2 things stay together for long. long enough to witness death. the most unexpected. the least expected. it wasnt roaring. it was weeping. and i wish i knew. i havent been fair.

collecting the slips and PAE booklet felt like the actual o levels results release. i can already picture it in my head. it isnt a good feeling. pls tell me i'll be okay.
assurance and more reassurance. thats the insecure maddy staring right ahead of you.

thanks mingying, jocelyn and ernie for the great day. you all have brought so much laughter into my day D: i look forward to the day we lie on the amphitheatre again under the velvet blue sky.

when the pillars holding you up crumbles. how do you stay up?

He built a wall of steel and flame
And men with guns to keep it tame
Then standing back he made it plain
That the nightmare would never ever rise again
But the fear and the fire and the guns remain.

It doesn't matter now it's over anyhow
He tells the world that it's sleeping
But as the night came round I heard
It slowly sound
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping.

where soul meets jazz

2007-11-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get

to play this game, you got to have guts. thats about it all. of course, a little bit of strategy planning also i presume. to stay in the game you need to think ahead. you need patience and endurance. but to end this game, just press exit and walk away. remember, dont turn back. because thats a foul and you'll have to suffer a penalty. a heavy penalty.

you cant lose in this game. you have to win. you cannot give in. once you're in it, its hard to get it though it sounds pretty easy to just walkaway. the not turning back is the difficult part. sometimes you fall into it so easily without realization and you find yourself unable to get out. the best thing to do is just stay in there, hang in there and play along. the goal? become the master's of the master game.

it takes time of course. you gain the experience along the way and move upwards. you keep climbing till you reach the top. you keep climbing. climbing and climbing. you cant stop because you will fall. fall too hard and hit the ground. find it difficult to stand up once again.

while some might be able to after a fall or 2 and grow to become stronger, others just choose to stay on the ground till someone is willing to come over and help pull the person up. difficult. for both parties. they have to try really hard.

you cant make any mistakes. its too costly. no backspace and no delete. once you erase, its everything. you start back from zero but certainly with a record, a scar. reminding you that you once fell and gave up. the more you try, the more scars you get.

this game. can you afford it?
are you gamed?

-

learning something new everyday is not always a bad thing i suppose. but most importantly, learn it right. even if its the wrong thing, learn it right. so you dont have to go back and try to erase the mistake. its difficult to do so. learn it right. i remember Mr Chew used to teach us new scores very carefully, very precise with every bar. that way we learn it right the first time, we'll remember it better and never attempt to make mistakes. but you start it off on a wrong note, you'll start trying and practicing the mistake. its not good. just making life difficult for yourself. you suffer. along with everyone else you love.

i'll remember today. i still dont believe what i did though.

foot hurting with a nasty blister that stained the shoes red. it didnt matter to me. shrinking LONG JOHN SILVERS (lj) that leaves people disappointed. is this the way they keep people coming back for more? pretty fort canning park and the drizzling weather. low low LOW pool tables and nice owner at meridian. inflated price bubble tea that tasted pretty lousy and the standard ticketing machine with its dollar coin. x)
a nice train ride with inside jokes and walking bare footed till the doorstep.

school tomorrow. i suppose it will be quite some time before i return there once more after tomorrow.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIUKUN x)
time for nasty violent NC16 movies!

and i think mom will hit the roof when the hp bill comes in a few days time.
DOOMED MADDY! DOOMED!

i wish i can read people's mind at times.

Cos nothing I have is truly mine

open your eyes

2007-11-14T22:03:00.000+08:00

bring me up and watch me fall. autumn leaves.

when what i see is not convincing me at all.
feels great to have given away all my books today. well, at least most of them. hope liyan and the rest would make good use of them and not waste them away like i did. i could have did much more and done better with them actually. oh well. its over. haha! its your turn to suffer! XD i had my share.

had a blast watching the really experienced players today at concourse and makes me really envious with their cues and accuracy. my teacher's playing was not too bad. just that they were too good so he practically lost most of the games. it'll be fine in a couple of years time i suppose. awesome.

bras bersah complex wasnt too hard to find with a little intuition and sense of direction. at least we got there eventually. didnt take too long i suppose. barging into raffles hotel was really fun and i must admit, its a pretty place to be. got some gloves and cleaning solution before heading back. pool-ed again at the usual place and its really a different level of playing back at the place. the weak turns strong.

a not-so-long bus trip with old chang kee and a walk home after. a couple of familiar faces here and there today. i must say. marcus does look like xavier. quite alot. =/

job interview tomorrow and i really wonder whats it like. i'll remember my pen. not like some moron who eventually got a sarcastic remark in return. HAH.

titanic seems really cliche but its just sweet. not like there's such a thing in reality. got to wake up from those scenes, madelyn. reality check. you get close enough and you fall. thats about it all isnt it. tell me you put it down. yea whatever.

set your priorities right, madelyn. (i thought i did)
whatever.

frustrations? no way. i'll be falling for your trap if i really get mad wont i, master? she knows her way around still. well, only after she sits in front of the apple that is.

and what am i suppose to do about it
sit down here and cry? dream on.
hang in there madelyn. hang in there. it wont be long.

after the big O's.

2007-11-13T20:35:00.000+08:00

block out the sun and pack up the skies

now to plan what to do. xD
actually she had it all in mind when the o's were going on xD but nonetheless, now she can put it all down without feeling any guilt.

Saxophone course. $150 per mth at yamaha is a pretty steep price and sadly, its individual course. ugh.
Pool. lots to practice and lots to train. suppose to be able to defeat my master after he finish NS. difficult challenge =/
Jigsaw.
Movies. time for video ezy to clear their shelves for me and catch up on what i've been missing out for the past year 10months of 07.
Ghost whisperer + heroes.
Zara.topshop.f21.bugis. you know it! a whole new wardrobe. D:
Korea + hk trip on the 31st!
Chitty chitty bang bang musical!
Sandao watanabe's concert! any takers? =/
Marche. i never really had a chance to eat to my heart's content yet!
My streak of ash grey hair (pending)
Christmas party.
Golf lessons perhaps?
Ice skating/ECP cycling/ blading. its been some time!
Sleep.
Chalet with the band mates D:
Plan the JC life.
Fix my laptop and play Rollercoaster tycoon xD
Watch KS do his popping and locking!
Find a way to deal with the master of the master's game. ;)

brain block. that's about it i suppose but might just fill it up with a job somewhere in cartel outside my house or perhaps Singapore General Hospital.
and boy, im exhausted even before anything has begin.

and i didnt forget. you just know it dont you.
resistance. how long more can she hold it, i wonder.
random thoughts and out of focus. she lost her foothold.

Happy birthday Noel D: and belated to TIMOMO!

getting out of here for now D:
loves.

when temptations are given in
when all hell break loose.

reflection from a shattered mirror

2007-11-12T20:58:00.001+08:00

its personal.

i dont feel any excitement in me at all. not even the slightest. they really shouldnt have drag this o's across a span of 4weeks. a month. 30days. the impatient me will find no joy in celebrating for the end of o's already. but nonetheless, i do look forward to being a good samaritan and give away all the books to those who are ready to suffer the fate all my peers did with me. whahaha. definitely also more time for mouse, ernest and all my friends D: awesome! okay, she feels funny =/ ugh.

i dont like the sick feeling. =/ i dont like the stomach flu. the drowsines. make me well!!!!
ARGH. i still want my pepper lunch with my darling michelle sister this weekend D: teehee.

someone i dont know.

nightfall

2007-11-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

cream cheese and cracker. chocolate bar and kinder surprise. humour me, pls.

no happy ending

2007-11-11T21:29:00.000+08:00

no hope, no love, no glory,
no happy ending

im losing all my thoughts. im losing this fight. im losing purpose. im losing the thing called sanity. oh no. -shake heads-

If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

SOS!

2007-11-10T23:52:00.000+08:00

Binge eating disorder (BED), is a psychiatric disorder in which a subject shows the following symptoms:

Periodically does not exercise control over consumption of food
Eats an unusually large amount of food at one time -- more than a normal person would eat in the same amount of time.
Eats much more quickly during binge episodes than during normal eating episodes
Eats until physically uncomfortable
Eats large amounts of food even when they are not really hungry
Usually eats alone during binge eating episodes, in order to avoid discovery of the disorder
Often eats alone during periods of normal eating, owing to feelings of embarrassment about food
Feels disgusted, depressed, or guilty after binge eating

source: wikipedia.

oh no. please tell me im not binge eating but i fit the symptons. ugh no.
HELP.

french kisses

2007-11-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

4 in the morning

2007-11-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

the sick feeling in the stomach wont go away. and waiting here like a sitting duck doesnt seem to be of any help. argh.

lovely juniors never fail to cheer me up always. -hugs-

and when the stars fall i will lie awake

2007-11-08T17:43:00.000+08:00

maddy feels like she's losing herself. help find MADDY!
and now that she's got time (not exactly) for everything else, she cant be bothered with anything at all. argh.

go away.

she's fallen from grace.

2007-11-08T01:34:00.000+08:00

sometimes looking at it in a negative light, the picture turns out to be pretty after all right?

you got me dancing on my tiptoes

2007-11-07T20:53:00.000+08:00

to a heart's content.

geography mcq today was fun but the rest of the day was even better. felt so sleepy doing all the mcq but was really relief to see repetition from tys. at least the few hours spent doing was worthwhile (:

a great day out and thats all you're going to get. D:
when was the last time she even felt this way? when you just want to lie back and do nothing at all. when you want to just let time pass and the world to go round.

vincent van gogh painted Starry Night and for each star he painted, it carried a year of his life. a total of 36. each representing a year of light and hope till the very day in 1889. no matter how much bright the stars shone, the homes still looked like a reign of darkness.
a double edge sword in life.

and she is still feeling full from dinner and the day itself (:

sweet misery, you are to me.

the singles

2007-11-06T22:53:00.000+08:00

how does it feel

the transparent denture like retainers looks pretty cool but feels like crap when you have to wear them. hopefully its not for long. and someone is being real mean. if there's no where to go then you can just go sit at the bus stop tml. D:
and brother's got a new love! cant wait to see! XD

back to the 308 pages of mcq as quoted from napok. lol.

now im really worried. something tells me this o's was not fantastic and the results wont be ideal. pls tell maddy she'll be fine. she needs to stay in ajc. ):
sigh.

and she doesnt know what she's feeling tonight.
a mixture.

when there's no turning back.

LOLLIPOP

2007-11-05T20:05:00.001+08:00

say love, say love
oh loves gonna get you down.

take it easy

2007-11-05T18:56:00.000+08:00

its as if im playing with fire

如遇上她怎去躲
是时候放低我
今天从孤单一个也能庆贺
谁是对那是错
我们今天都也要走过
或你一天会决定选我

have i told you how much i love 2348? countless i guess. xD but yea, they're still the most awesome pals you can find around. at least for me (: pool or some chilling out something soon alright! <3!

and i love the cold storage speciality store with its row of hamster food and jelly tots.

有缘又有份才算最幸福的有缘人

she'll pack her suitcase cause the taxi's round the bend.

the ladyrain

2007-11-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

and late at night,when you pour down on me
you're just in time to wash all the tears away.

share and care

2007-11-04T20:23:00.000+08:00

being kind to the enemey is being selfish to one.

received shocking news from the moment i woke up today and open my eyes. Mrs Eugenia Lim bought Kaixin's house which is like next door! the vp is going to be my neighbour?! -faint- but she's a nice lady. and the second news came when she said that she viewed our house and liked the design. she mentioned she wants something similar! copy cat! hahaha! but yea, the best part is our house is built by my very own dad! so proud of him! (: now he wants me to clinch this deal withs Mrs Lim! hahaahahaha! maybe i get like 5% of commission or something! xD that will be sweet. xD

secondly, sis is in the straits time today! under life section i think. so hilarious. Michelle Goh, Banker. SHE SAYS SHE DOESNT EAT AFTER 10PM WHICH IS SO NOT TRUE BECAUSE SHE CAN BE ORDERING MACS AT 1AM WITH ME AND MUNCHING ON MCWINGS AFTER THAT! HAHAHAHA! I EXPOSED YOU MICHELLE! x)

and i cant believe how charming some people can be. sit down at mac for 15minutes and find 4 girls giggling right opposite. the next minute, they come and join him at the same table to 'study'! LOL. amazing. -applause-
thats how good my brother is! x)

slow dancing in a burning room

misery

2007-11-04T00:26:00.000+08:00

now that there's one more mouth to cater to, the grains runs out faster for the farmer in the field. so the farmer just got to work twice as hard as it used to. D:

shot into a bolt of blue

2007-11-03T23:29:00.000+08:00

and i get down on my knees and pray

whats a nice way to scold without the use of the crude 4 letter word? ahh whatever. just this once. fuck it. i know its going to hurt but yet i approach. knowing that with each step and each line, its like a million minute cuts that are invisible to the naked eye but felt with every pulse. you cant see but you can feel. you cant say but you can hide.

i remember moulin rouge. i remember satine. i remember los celos le matarán was said to christian. and i feel like its being screamed into my head every single minute right now.

it bothers me why things always come to me in halves or incomplete. how i never get to have it as a whole and how they always end up in crumbs. i cant even piece them together like a jigsaw and i cant write the end at the end of it because there never is an end. you lose the interest halfway through and abandon the thought or you just keep collecting the little pieces that come to you every other day but they never end. you either give me everything or nothing at all. dont leave me hanging.

sometimes you're drunk. sometimes you just pretend you are drunk so you can sprout nonsense you are dying to say which you cant when you're sober. i dont know which state i was yesterday. a little bit of both i guess. but boy, that sure tasted really disgusting. thanks for the great idea bb. we shall just have milo next time like you suggested.
but at least i know i was feeling happy. feeling better than now.

on a lighter note, the cab costed me $11.40 today and i was half an hour late for appointment. ended up having to wait for another hour which wasted an hour and a half of my time today. the airport trip was great with ck and ks who happened to have the same chinese character as me. i cant believe i filled myself with one double swiss cheeseburger meal and extra onion rings for lunch. i was that hungry. dinner at popeye's was great and colt tower left me on the verge of puking by the time im home.

lets say she didnt accomplish much today. but watching ks trying so hard to solve the rubik's cube was amusing. and that blue stickers had already become black. but at least that popping/locking guy did it!
rv has prom at swiss hotel on the 19th. rv meaning river valley. how unfair is that. but apparently each student pays like 60bucks and it aint compulsory. that dude is going to do a locking solo during the prom itself. sweet.

viewing gallery was boring as hell but i love the couch at T1's pacific coffee. the 2 best friends are extreme. one loves dark chocolate while the other enjoys white. thats just 1 point. i cant really crack my head to recall it all because its hurting like hell.

ghost whisperer last night gave me no sleep after the phone call at 3.30am because images and scenes kept coming back to me. haunting me. since such a long time, i felt so scared. and i kept dreaming of the number 400 also. its freaking me out even now as i write this alone in the attic.

im convincing myself not to let it bother but its bugging like a pestering child i absolutely abhor. argh. i feel silly. and i was so envious when i saw that jacob's creek sparkling rose in lucy aunt's DFS bag. its okay. i'll have milo.

porque usted ama todos y a cada uno desea a parte de usted

i have no idea how accurate this is but ah, who cares.
people dont visit jepretendsquetoutvabien because they think the name is way too long for them to remember so they just forgo it. but hey, i cant bear to part with this blog address that has over a 1500 posts. but i did have another name in mind. maybe start of 08 where jc life begins. where this chapter closes to welcome the next.

i dont write wonderful stories neither do i have the intelligence to but i dont really care. and i think i really shouldnt.

and that song did leave a tear of two. i thought about the future. i thought about march.

Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier

spinning empty bottles

2007-11-03T01:18:00.001+08:00

and boy, why did you have to lie? or maybe you didnt.

somebody's me

2007-11-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

if i say i have a plan to runaway tonight, would you run with me, baby?

-

life's really unfair. or perhaps it is fair and i just fail to realise it.
some people have only ss paper on monday before all the crap mcq papers.
others have ss and biology on monday before all the crap mcq.
some have ss on monday followed by literature the next day before all the crap mcq.
some others have ss and biology on monday followed by literature the next day before all the crap mcq.

someone wants to work at cartel after o's! chef on the rise? x)

and i never thought i could trust again.

dance the summer samba

2007-11-02T16:30:00.000+08:00

we got to be extra careful.

You are in a labyrinth. A complicated irregular network of passages or paths where you are stuck, a maze. I hope you don't find yourself in a secret chamber. Please don't be jammed within those unknown rooms around, its dangerous.

ernest.

i remember i mentioned something about a dollar and 5 twenty cents. the preference of one over the other. thought about it again and something struck me yesterday. what about giving one entire dollar to a person or splitting it up to 5 people? making one person extremely happy with it all or keep 5 people contented. but that contentment might not last. they might yearn for more and you would have nothing to give.thats when you're doomed!
just a random thought.

and im back on my daily dosage of whatever that medication is called. its been some time. =/

like a pill that doesnt heal, you make me ill.

i hate myself for loving you

2007-11-01T22:54:00.001+08:00

the road back home. alone.

i hate that bright light in the middle of the picture but the car just refused to go away though i stood on the streets like some moron for quite some time. maddy ought to start making use of her phone and camera for pictures. not of fantastic quality but i suppose its really handy.

she's not going to replace. she's going to create her own. she wont take over. she'll start anew. nothing much to speak about today except the new discovery of chili and tartar sauce taste pretty awesome. not a chili lover but definitely tartar sauce! they compliment each other pretty well. just amazing sometimes how 2 different things can go well together. like how extreme colours blend so well. or...whatever. brain block. no analogy. or like how 2 different people fall in love. or get along really well. whatever.

and boy, i sure feel like having a paper bag over my head now. you wont need to know why. maddy should also get ready to set aside half her allowance to pay this month's bill. its midway through the month and she has already sent the number of smses she sent in an ordinary month. 3 times the number of free smses. doomed. worst off, next couple of weeks would be after the o's which would indicate even more smses. -shrugs-

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be

and i hate the way you bring me up and watch me fall. over and over again.

hurry, im falling.

7days

2007-10-31T18:43:00.000+08:00

its a wednesday. its midweek. its halloween. its the last day of october. its an exhausting day. maddy feels so exhausted right now so i think she's going to sleep. she might come back later. she might not.

till then,
good night.

listen to craig david's 7days. x)

like there's no tml.

2007-10-30T23:07:00.001+08:00

put the song on replay.
she's craving for some thrill. she's planning for a runaway. with a small key, it opens her out to the other realm. bring her close to nirvana. she's planning for a runaway.

ice ice baby

2007-10-30T19:43:00.000+08:00

and on Thursday & Friday & Saturday
we chilled on Sunday

watch it flicker.

candles. wax.wick.spark.flame.warmth.light.life.

stop chewing on ice, they always say.
maddy cant help it.

and wtf, melissa actually passed her driving test. i cant believe it. she that reckless woman actually passed it on the very first time. awesome. now everyone at home can fetch the prissy brat around. heard she did it with 12points. michelle did it with 8 points but that was after the first time she knocked down the pole while reversing the car. LOL. heard from dad that they used to test you driving without any error sheet or point system. the tester would just sit in your car and watch you drive. if he likes you, then maybe you'll get it within one try. but if you dont, you might never pass it. shocking but yea, im still proud of my sis (:

met the 2 at the pool parlour after paying 80cents for a bus ride. weird amount. its neither the usual 6o or 90 cents. still really bad at it but im sure if such a pro as teacher, i should do fine. just that i dont get to go practise like he does every other night or what. but i think i will do fine eventually. hahaha. i HOPE.
hang around with some pretty good snacks in heartland mall and i learnt that i have very sadistic friends. i really hope ants and all other beetles, flies or spiders or whatsoever dont go near them. you suffer quite a sorry fate. x(

sit around till evening and met some old classmates. shantila, nardia and even loraine. i saw sharene today too. its amazing. its amazing how we all have got on with our lives. how we all changed and still stay the same.

its what you know i know. unspoken of.
satisfaction vs contentment. i'll pick gratification. ;)

and 7 days by craig david keeps playing in my head. (:

when there was you and me

quote of the week xD

2007-10-30T19:12:00.001+08:00

''Blog-writing is creative. Blog-editing is knowledge. Blog-spying is unhealthy. And blog-reading is colourful.''

ernest.

HAHA. D:

the very same place

2007-10-29T20:13:00.000+08:00

i feel fine and i feel good. i feel like i never should. when i get this way i just dont know what to say.

i so love SEAB. at least i do for the mathematics paper but im still mad about the geography one. hmph. anyway, transformation came out as the 25th question of today's math paper and i was literally about to sceam and run around like a crazy fangirl. at least it means that no losing of 10 marks for the paper tml. and i got the shear wrong anyway. BUT WHO CARES x)

but i was preoccupied throughout the entire paper in my head. boo. i couldnt even focus my mind on the last question on page1. 40% 0.3 1/3 2/7 i think should go buy some lottery or something. 123407 xD
whatever. im being pretty high. i think.

MUST BE ERNEST'S EMAIL AGAIN. or maybe something else. xD nothing exceptionally funny today but still, i love to read his email each time i get into gmail! poor bro has got chinese and physics through this week still. HANG IN THERE BROTHER! and dont worry, im sure he doesnt dare lay a finger on you xD

and the english topic was on constellations and stars or whatsoever. i was so disappointed. they could have mentioned something more about the moon! maddy loves the moon! but i guess stars aint that bad. but did i mention that i almost fell asleep reading the passage? xD so typical of me. as always. -shakes head- but yea, the red planet was nice also. sad thing is that no one died in the crash or the falling cliff. im being sadistic right now. dont ask me why. and that bloody fiancee actually went all the way to mars to look for his future bride. how sweet but the story would have been to my liking if the female died there or something xD im talking bull.

maddy, calm yourself down.

i made a new friend grey. i wonder whats she like. like whats it like to mix orange and grey together. what do you get? i wonder.
and i keep getting this feeling im going to put on 100 pounds after exams. or i already am putting on those weight. ahhhhhhhh -faint- does that sound bimbo? LOL

human nature. even issac newton didnt quite understand it. i wonder if i ever will. i think i will. I THINK.

neck's aching like some old granny right now still and i need to do something about it, quick. realy quick before i go crazy at night again. ugh.

anyone looking for job? thai express at gardens is hiring and so is cafe cartel. i believe mcdonalds want to get some help too. xD there's a cold storage specialty opening real soon at gardens. weeeeeeee. 1st nov i think D: cant wait to see what they have install for us.

and did i mention halloween is coming? x) i want to buy that really big black witch hat. have been wanting to get it for years but whats the point if i do this year when im in the midst of o levels. -shrugs-

and mouse would be going wt with me! cant wait mousey! D: sometimes i really wonder if mom going overseas is a good or bad thing. wonder if she ever realise i always seem so grouchy when she about to take the plane to elsewhere. wonder if she ever would realise. wonder if anyone realise why i do what i do. reverse psychology doesnt work. not most of the time.

boy i wonder whats surin ave like this couple of weeks. wonder if anything changed. havent been there for a really long time isnt it. or at least it does feel long.

i never seem to let my mind rest. once it does, it takes over me and thats the end of me.

I WANT TO WATCH SADAO WATANABE'S PERFORMANCE ON THE 26TH NOVEMBER. I REALLY DO WANT TO WATCH ):
anyone?

wondering. just wondering. still wondering.

it will be okay.

2007-10-28T21:04:00.000+08:00

i cant.

the rain pelt down and the gusty wind blowing. i was sheltered. i couldnt go outside. i couldnt be out there, in the puddles of water. it felt safe from the lightning and thunder. i know i was sheltered. protected. but to me, i was trapped. i cant be where i want to be. not because the house had a big lock chained to it but rather, i had no where to go.

we never asked where i stood. because we know inside. and i know i should be giving in. not giving up. but hey, i dont know how long more i can hold on. i wake up to a day and i long for the night. the night when i feel like its turned to look for me. when sanity has been compromised. they tell me im out of my mind. they tell me im being silly. the thing is, i choose to be. maybe this is the furthest i get to go.

je pretends que tout va bien.

dinner was great at the humble house which didnt seem humble at all. great ambience and lovely dishes. but something wasnt quite right. hate it when its a family of 5. i dont like long tables. cant they have round ones. whatever. i should be getting used to it anyway.

songs sound different when you play them from the speakers of your computer and when you play it in your ears through the earphones. they tend to sound a little nicer over the earphones. you seem to hear every word's echo. its crystal clear. i guess food taste better when you eat it with your family or a bunch of great pals. the same thing might just seem bland if you're alone. but how about people? are they the same always or they succumb to the environment?

it doesnt feel fantastic tonight. it never does. argh. i need something happy. a bar of cabbury isnt enough. maybe 2. or 3. or an endless supply would be good. but still, i think it wont be enough.

i used to think its good enough when you reach a certain limit. but the thing about human is that we always want to cross the limit and go beyond our greatest possibility. which can be a good thing but most of the time, it isnt. we often want to excel isnt it. like how 1o is never good enough as a 8 would be better. how ajc isnt good enough and njc would be more ideal. you get my point. too much analogy. influence from the hist/ss teacher i suppose. but still, i need a constant reminder to tell myself not to cross the yellow line.

esplanade is a pretty place at night and boy, it sure is a must to chill out there one night after the big o's. i need no fancy restaurants or cafes. just the company and the place outside the splendid architecture.

the neck is still bothering me. argh. maybe a couple more days if not i really need the sinseh. where do i find out anyway?

i think i spoke too much tonight.

dazed and shattered now it hurts.

a picture book

2007-10-28T02:04:00.001+08:00

i need to cut down on my high protein diet. seriously.

and they were just bright lights.

2007-10-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

a mutual understanding; unspoken of.

tropical passion tea latte. it refers to the same awesome drink and tonight, i had my eggs ben. x) breakfast during dinner. what a contradiction. here's egg's ben for you. i love the salad at the side and the entire thing was pretty salty actually. but a tinge of pepper was all it took to make it great. (:

i think black dress with gold blinks blinks is nice. i dont know why some people just have a problem with it. x)

was so happy to see ERNEST's email when i logged on to gmail. had a great time replying that good old pal too. D: "HAHA. You compared and contrasted yourself and you found the similarities. Congratulations. HAHA. I think I know one reason. I am not going to tell you until my birthday in 1439573 years. :]"
just love his attitude and man, i always end up laughing like a spastic kid reading his email! D: HAHA! ;)

and paramore's misery business just make my night perfect tonight. bleah. i remember i first heard it on eugene's ipod in wt. didnt like it at first but then it started ringing in my head and soon, i find myself loving the video more and more each day. some loud music is good once in a while.
im high on ecstasy tonight. dont ask why.
MUST BE ERNEST'S EMAIL. x)
we both have a problem with sewage xD HAHAHAHAHA!
i cant help it xD

lalala. whats life without this brother eh. x)
i feel like an idiot in my own world laughing at the slightest thing. but i dont care! x)
at least it helps me forget about that aching neck. its bugging me like a splinter in the thumb. it wont go away.
argh! i wonder if there's something wrong with my sleep posture or what. its been a week!
and that ear bled again when i tried sticking the stud in. at least its in there for now. i'll never let it go since i painstakingly pierced it myself. im proud of it actually.

that pain in the neck must be you. you, You, YOU! you know who you are!

but still, HAHA! -sticks out tongue-

gosh, cause it feels so good.

fast car

2007-10-27T16:55:00.000+08:00

and when night turns into day.
i wait for the moon to show
then come daybreak once again,
i'll be longing for the night.

its one of those lazy saturdays again. sigh. i want my tropical fruit tea latte. )=

broken glass

2007-10-27T13:27:00.000+08:00

What more can you be than the things they say youve been
isnt it scary?
i think it is.

so many people keep talking about playing pool after o's.
even kahsing! i better buck up on my skills after exams if not i'll be throwing my face flat on the floor. x)

and my saxophone lessons!

MADELYN HANG IN THERE!
you'll be okay. (:

argh can someone chop my neck off.
i rather be a headless ghost than suffer like that now.
argh

and simply red's say you love me is sweet.

the princess feels random today. or at least she does now. x)

but you never ever wonder why
in every single pair of eyes
there is a hunger in it
or its soul dies

stop crying your heart out

2007-10-26T22:23:00.000+08:00

Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared,
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile, (may your smile)
Shine on, (shine on)
Don't be scared, (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm,

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday,
Take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

Get up, (get up)
Come on, (come on)
Why you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change what's been and gone

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them some day,
Take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday.
Just take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

We're all of the stars,
We're fading away.
Just try not to worry,
You'll see us someday.
Just take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out... [4x]

-

self comforting.

i need to find something to do. quick.
before i start going mad. before letting my mind take over me.

toffee chocolate

2007-10-26T20:56:00.000+08:00

and its never bad enough to just leave or give up but its never good enough to feel right.

the end.

ghost of you

2007-10-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

you got a fast car
but is it fast enough so we can fly away
we gotta make a decision
we leave tonight or live and die this way

i didnt mean to fall in love with you.

when i wana know

2007-10-25T18:06:00.000+08:00

when 2 lefts dont make a right.

what a depressing one baby.
so sad to see whats there, so dishearten to fill up.
i have never ever written so much in 2 and a half hours.
12 full pages of blue ink. argh.
dearest cambridge, you better dont screw me upside down.
i'll fly over and place a bomb in your university.

okay, thats too far off. but still, thats how nasty im feeling right now.
you dont like it when madelyn is angry.
oh no you dont.

fireworks.
shortlived splendor.
like it all.
shortlived splendor.

a turmoil. you thought you could juggle but now you see them falling apart.
and the only way out, you share your load. you let it off your mind.
you show whats inside.

something to hide
never allowed to see daylight
it awakens at night
and she holds it so tight.
but dawn breaks and it wither like a rose.
it shrivels and it dries
and all she fear
is to see her shed a tear

and before i go,
hello strangers who dont leave a name.
welcome to the misery business.
reading this wont make you happier but still, greetings to you. (:

try to unbreak the codes. D:
no prize for guessing it right though. (:

you know you would

not

bro i love you too!

2007-10-25T00:24:00.000+08:00

whats life without a brother by your side! D:
you're beautiful.
haha i'll never forget when you said you tried to sing the opening of aint no other man at the top of your voice when they were constantly promoting her concert! HAHA!
im waiting to hear it!
<3!

its unhealthy, yes i know. x)
HANG IN THERE TOO BRO! lots of stuff await us (:

you wont

2007-10-24T23:59:00.001+08:00

if you're going to be here for everybody, who's there for you?
life's a misery for you. it comes down hard on you.
tell me you dont deserve it.

because at the end of the day, you wont be there.
you just wont.
i just know.

it made her such a bitch. made her someone else. she's finding back the old self. one that doesnt have it all encircle her. the world revolving round her. one that stands on her own 2 feet. an independent one.
she woke up today and looked into the mirror. asked herself, who is that she see?
masked by it all and blinded by the pretty lies.
she hates it. so she shed the mask and revealed.
she's staying strong, she's holding on.
make it both ways. just like he's there.

nonetheless, its with the help of it.
she grows immunity.

musical chairs

2007-10-24T17:52:00.000+08:00

she's ticking like a bomb

paramore. angry songs that just sing your heart out.
at least they do now. and i love the lead singer's hair. its so orange and fiery.
she's got style in my opinion x)
love it. and i remember my sis rolling her eyes at me when i said i want my hair highlighted white.
whats wrong! ):

lets play musical chairs!
and i want to be the last one standing! kick everyone else off their chair
till there's just me there.
then at least those losers can go cry their hearts out together.
wont that be sweet? (=
perhaps that chair that i win would be pretty good company!
i can talk to it like its alive.
(:

can you guys pls go watch paramore's misery business video x)
i love the way she went around cutting off the girl's plaits and slamming the guy with his fractured arm into the wall. the way she kissed the guy right in front of his gf. the way she snatched everything away from her right in her face. sweet.
but you see, at the end of the day, she gets to taste her own medicine.
a dog eat dog world out there. isnt it?

and you can tell me your reasons
but it wont change my feelings
i'll feel the same

i cant run and i cant hide.
make your choice.
its selfish. i aint.

the same about you.

texas

2007-10-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

so put your arms around me
you let me believe that you are someone else
cause only time can take you
So let me believe
That I am someone else

texas.
from the OST of ever after.

there's no doubt about it.
just let me feel you here baby.
perhaps she's been faraway for far too long.

convince me.
somehow.

i dont want to believe what i see but rather what i hear.
what i feel.

insecurity.

2007-10-23T19:26:00.000+08:00

i feel like a stupid ragdoll.

you twirl me round your fingers,
spinning in circles.

dont think its okay.

i've often wondered if love's an illusion
just to get you through the loneliest days

and boy, it sure is.

jazz love

2007-10-23T19:07:00.000+08:00

a song the heart sings

its impossible to catch vienna boys choir this year at esplanade anymore but there's someone to help make it all better.
presenting Mr Sadao Watanabe! a really awesome jazz saxophonist and some of his tracks can be heard from esplanade's website. just check out the esplanade programme calender under music.
(: luckily for students, concession tickets are about 28 and best of all, its after the o levels! sweet.
hope the tickets dont run out.
any takers? (:

maybe lynn is right.
this is a test. a test of endurance. patience.
i'll wait. as long as i can hold on to.
i'll be here.

and of the bands and singers and stars in the global scene, click five had to come today.
what a day. me and lynn were in class missing out on the action but i think the chat we had was better than all the screams and shouts in the hall. i loved that hour odd chatting. awesome.
haha and her friend from sgss says that he has become more gentlemanly because of his school. wtf XD

also, its best to read my blog only after you play the song on the left. -points-
bleah. personal preference (:

its been a week or more.

barney can be your friend too if you just make believe him! (;

chapter 1

2007-10-22T19:40:00.000+08:00

panic attack.

the smell of your scent lingers.

til then

2007-10-21T21:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I watch the world go by
I wonder what it's like
To wake up every single day
Smile on your face
You never tried
We both know we can't change it
But we both know we'll just have to face it

enough

2007-10-21T16:46:00.000+08:00

how soon is now,
you shut your mouth

maybe its the weather. maybe its the shoes or perhaps the sickening phone.
everything just feel so out of place right now.
i certainly hope this doesnt last.

and if you dont give a damn, why should i fucking bother.
oh wait, maybe you do.

ever asked yourself the difference between a dollar and 5 twenty cents?
whats with the preference over a dollar compared to the 5.
dont they both worth the same and isnt it a norm that people like to have more when they can?

or is it because one's silver while the other's like gold.
go fig.

i still hear her laugh like she's here.

gulible

2007-10-20T23:12:00.001+08:00

i need to stop being so crédulo.

thankfully there are places to help bring me back to this bitter truth.

toast box

2007-10-20T22:17:00.001+08:00

the heart shape box

toast box was really filling. to think ck and i were telling each other we were not hungry x)
he even had one box of nuggets before leaving the mac. before that he had like one extreme large sprint plus mcwings EVM. i think he is what i call da4wei4wang2. xD
HOW CAN ANYONE EAT ONE LARGE PLATE OF MEESIAM AND STILL HAVE KAYATOAST AND EGGS AND MILO. insane.
eh, you go gym twice a week also useless la x)

i think i'll miss mr ong's amath tuition class. miss the regular bubble tea and super cold ac inside.
the funny lessons and lame jokes. senseless drawings and 'open box' money. amath had never been this fun. no doubt i enjoy mrs koh's lesson too (:

want to hear something really sappy? x)
i'll say it even if you dont want to.
you dont mend 2 broken hearts by putting them together.
ghost whisperer was awesome as usual and ya, melinda's husband was so funny when he said it.
cant wait to watch the entire series after o's.

stumbled upon yet another great series.
GOSSIP GIRLS. okay sounds very lindsay lohan or paris hilton but i think its similar to OC or something. :D caught a glimpse of it on youtube.
and mouse has a nice 1985 show for me too.xD
cant wait.

pls dont game/pool/dream too much and watch your health.
mrs jones said so. not st francis. so you got to listen.

and the milo 'tip' toast that looked like fried tofu in meesiam with black sauce x)
the devoted lover.

how i wish i never met you
i guess it must have been my fate
to fall in love with someone else's love
all i can do is wait
thats all i can do.

olivia is one awesome singer (:
great for saturdays like this and norah jones too.

raindrops on roses

donna lewis

2007-10-19T19:57:00.000+08:00

we both know that its wrong

You've got to be in Paris close the Moulin Rouge.
By the sea, with the breeze, thats where you got be.
The moon's part of the company with its lonesome serenade.
The ladyrain cant be with you cause this dance in the summer rain,
doesnt belong to her.

donna lewis. rings a bell? how about the duet At the Beginning?
I love you always forever.
cliche title but lovely tune thats simply so catchy.

new favourite drink at coffee bean: tropical passion tea latte drink.
awesome. the taste of milk with a tinge of tea.
just too much of it makes me sick. haa.

i hope its not the start of another gastric flu. not now.
and madelyn is depressed. she didnt get to watch vienna boys choir last year and its the same this year because they're performing one night only at esplanade on the 5nov. what paper do i have then? argh.

but lets hope the Opera ghost & guinevere would have time for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!
its after the o's! :D

have i ever mentioned that sitting in for any band practice is like going through a life lesson?
you will always come out with a little more senses, like you've grown a little inside.
that is if you bother to take into account what he says.
thats how wonderful Mr Chew is.
he teach not just music but lessons on life.

its tragic. its cursed. its meant to be.

2007-10-18T20:56:00.000+08:00

FRIENDSTER STINKS. UGH.

想走出你控制的领域
却走近你安排的战局
我没有坚强的防备
也没有后路可以退

heavensent

2007-10-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

what it takes is a recollection of the many times to stab the heart a 1000 times over, and over again.

watch it bleed.

held

2007-10-17T22:05:00.004+08:00

this is how it feels when the sacred is torn from life
and you survive.

I FIND IT SUPER HILARIOUS WHEN YOU VIEW PEOPLE'S PROFILE ON FRIENDSTER AND THEY START VIEWING YOURS. HAHA.
okay, i think im drunk.
by that cup of milk tea and 2 cups of peach tea and ice?
i dont think so.
maybe its the sake. x)

HAHAHA.
okay, madelyn is freaking random, freaking high now.
she is like a hyper active kid and she needs to let it all go somewhere!
let her unleash it on someone xD

this is what happens when you get uber depressed. x(
why am i talking like that!

ugh.

BUT I STILL FIND THAT FRIENDSTER ISSUE FUNNY.
x)

so she's mad.
mad at you. mad at you giving her false hopes. mad at you for giving her false hopes that its going to happen.
but anyway, you deserve it. that leg should have been broken instead of just a sprain.
bleah.

and i make a very good thief, i think.
im good at taking away people's stuff.
i snatch it away from them. some realise it, some doesnt.
i take things that dont belong to me and i wreck people's life.
i feel like a moron now. ugh.

but you see, i'll always return it.
just give me time to enjoy the company, to savour it.
how hard it would be, i still have to. dont i?

Does anyone know
What love can cost
To take you so high
Then leave you lost
i think i know.

baby be brave. its not yours.
not now, not ever.
so why bother?

ugh. i think i do alot of self talking.
and its driving me up the wall of sanity.

ps. she's not making sense is she? (=

the sky wont snow and the sun wont shine
thats when you know its just yet another lie.

there's something out of place

2007-10-16T21:37:00.000+08:00

its written all over your face.

Then wear the gold hat, If that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry, 'Lover, gold hatted, high-bouncing lover;
I must have you.'

Thomas Parked' Invillier

haha.
try saying that out loud. loud with feelings, loud with emotions.
it simply makes you look like a fool.
like a stupid idiot so carelessly falling back into the trench you tried so hard to climb out of.

and dear santa,
i hope christmas comes early this year. madelyn needs a saxophone. an alto saxophone.
she's got no chimmney but its good enough if you would leave it outside her house and ring the door bell.

loves, madelyn.

and there's nothing i can do about it.

base station

2007-10-15T20:51:00.000+08:00

checkmate

the heavy head leaning against the window pane
mind preoccupied with a million thoughts
the city bright lights shine down upon her face
revealing a tear carrying all the thoughts the words cant say

and she asked, how close are we from here to there

there was no answer.

the limit to your love

2007-10-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

hold on to me and, never let me go.

have you ever watched the window pane next to you in the passenger seat of your dad's car,
i have.
the crystal droplets ever so ready to crash into the ground
hoping to make their mark.
gravity pull and they make their move.
with no reason and no rhyme
they fall.
gathering all that come in their way with them
they fall faster,
they fall quicker

to their death.

this time, this place
misused, mistakes
too long, too late
who was I to make you wait.
over the years,
people left many scars on me but they never realised.
some thats so deep, others so apparent.
one that that never leaves my sight
it will never get to see the light.

okay i know, im a piece of emoshit right now.

so carelessly there,
is it truth or dare?

demo

2007-10-13T20:26:00.001+08:00

and sometimes its not the best thing to not know where you're suppose to be.

it had better be tonight

2007-10-13T19:01:00.000+08:00

cause a new chapter unfolds

graduation day ceremony was solemn but fun. if not for chiahow's song i think we would all be crying still. the atmosphere lightened up and speeches that moved heats made of stone.
video with every word that mean so much. photos that bring memories like a gush of wind.
thanks 2e1.4e3.2348.teachers and zwinds.
you all wrote a big chapter in my life.
now as this chapter finishes the last paragraph, a new one unfolds.

dinner was one of the best i ever had.
11 people surronding a coffeshop table, all crammed up and cosy like a family.
taking 15mins to order 5 dishes and a soup. making fun of the aunty and being so extremely calculative. laughing at the slightest joke and smiling each time we pick up some food.
this big family of mine, i love you guys.
and reunion dinner is a must e3 (:

studying was not exactly futile but not fruitful either.
love the company and love the mac delivery. thanks ft for organising it for us. it should be the last time calling mr lee ft already.
and napok getting locked outside his house at 3am cause he forgot his keys.
haa.
breakfast was great with a breath of fresh air.
and maybe jac is right. we cannot eat too much fish balls. x)

ka and rl. we might not be the best of friends right now but thanks for everything. it couldnt have been this great without you 2 and of course my dearest mousey.
sabah was one of the best time of life and its possible because of you 2 and mouse. (:
thanks girlfriends. love you to bits still. (=

ft, haha thanks for everything. even till the last day, still need you to help us clean up the toilet and pack up the classroom. hope all is well for you from here.
and the inner child, we'll never forget. (:

e3 & e1.
they always say its not easy that 40/42 people can come together out of 8000 students to form a class. i thank God for you all. the fights and silly disputes. without them i think it wont be this awesome. love the bbqs and chalets. love the company and the class spirit.
thanks for making a difference.

the emoernie.
it couldnt have been possible without you brother! (=
thanks and hey, it doesnt end here alright! more yass on clas95 and pool and haato and everything else! late night calls and rants. see you even after 10years! =D i demand to be at your wedding.

my dearest mouse!
hahahaha. we had fights and we had cries. we had good times too. love you to bits and peterpan is ours to keep! must keep ranting and writing and i love you always! cant wait for you to come over tml too. (=

zwinds. great to hear you guys are doing well now. can finally put my mind to ease. thanks lihua for all our fights and squabbles. i know deep down we both love each other very much. and all of zwinds with mr chew and ms chan and mr ong and mdm nurdini. haha i used to be so mean to mr ong and now i feel so bad about it. remember the memories we forged.
syf was a blast and so was every performance.

teachers, THANK YOU.
i leave zh as someone older, stronger and better.

they say its not a time to be sad but a time to cherish.
to appreciate.
from here we dont end the friendship and close bonds.
we bring them closer, keeping everyone involved in our lives.

the inner child, dont lose it.

scandalous

2007-10-11T19:29:00.000+08:00

the final countdown.

and just in case madelyn wont be here tml,

thanks for the memories.
its been a good 4years and she'll bring it with her onto wherever she goes.
there's just too much to say.

and you toad,
stop all that movie watching and supper craving.
time to sit down proper and work on your math. i believe hitler and gorbachev misses you too.
so yea, stop reading and start working.
eye on the prize.

madelyn pleads guilty.

Heaven knows
I'm head over heels and it shows
I've played every field I suppose
But there's something about you
When your around baby I have found I get lost in you

rivarly

2007-10-10T22:16:00.000+08:00

stop pushing him around, like the only precious gem around.

so happy to hear about mr poor getting himself a partner now and knowing how long they had been in love, its great to hear they're finally together.
he found his strength to carry on, she found her joy to smile.
its a wonderful thing. (=
finally.
im sure from here, it grows strong.
(: didnt know mr poor would make such a good bf haha and i cant deny, he had grown so much, learnt to care for others and love himself too.

terrible tv show.
they just like to make life miserable for one another and eventually have the happy ever after.
whatever it is, i think i need to do some reality check.

im hungry.
fill me with anything now and i'll eat.
even if its you. i might just gobble you up. x)
that chocolate bar filled the heart, not the stomach =X

and i still want my hair back. ): argh.

i see dead people and im no rag doll.

mr charles brown

2007-10-09T21:04:00.000+08:00

im cinderella at the ball, im alice growing ten feet tall.

Blessed for everything you've given me;
Blessed for all the tenderness you show;
Do my best with every breath that's in me;
Blessed to make sure you never go.

There are times, that I test your faith,
'til you think you might surrender.
Baby I'm, I'm not ashamed to say,
that my hopes will grow in splendor

You walked by in the nick of time
looking like an answered prayer
You know I'm truly...

and i died 3 seconds later.

crop circles in the carpet

2007-10-08T20:09:00.000+08:00

here I am all jittery and nervous
got me feelin' that I'm really not good at this
in your mind I know your thinkin' what I'm up to
all I wanna do is try to get to know you

is she seeing things or is there something maddy doesnt quite catch?
she wants to wake up and find herself never having gone to salon on sunday. ):
she forsee herself falling sick tml.
her dose of adrenaline, where are you?

clarity.
the brat shouldnt be deceiving herself.
when people starts talking in riddles and deciphering comes into picture, its difficult to tell whats what and who's who.
for this time, if its me, i'll say, yes.
if not, i dont care either x)

Yo te quiero tanto
Y por qué será
Loco testarudo
No lo dudes más
Aunque en el futuro
Haya un muro enorme
Yo no tengo miedo
Quiero enamorarme
mr jones.

the greatest love affair started with hello.

frente love triangle

2007-10-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through
Into a bolt of blue

It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living the life that I can't leave behind

There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes

And it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should

Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday

I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem

I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

Every time I see you falling
I'll get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

random

2007-10-07T17:24:00.000+08:00

she needs to stop my mcdonald's craving.
she requested for a trim, not a cut! ):
she wants indian rojak+plaster prata
she needs to stop being such a brat
she wants to be of some help.

2007-10-07T17:07:00.000+08:00

i should have known better.

more love

2007-10-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

I'm so close to you baby
But I'm so far away
There's a silence between us
And there's so much to say
You're my strength, you're my weakness
You're my faith, you're my doubt
We gotta meet in the middle
To work this thing out

More love, I can hear our hearts cryin'
More love, I know that's all we need
More love, to flow in between us
To take us and hold us and lift us above
If there's ever an answer
It's more love